Classy Broads I Admire

Classy Broads I Admire

Since I chose the moniker Classy Brassy Broad people ask me why I picked it.
I think that in many ways it describes me well. I am well educated and not afraid to speak my mind on most subjects and to most people who want to engage. I am a strong proponent of taking charge of you health and to not fall into the trap of place health care professionals on a pedestal. I don’t automatically believe that our elected officials are the best choice for America and will challenge a decision with which I do not agree.

Sometimes I have to wonder where these ideas and beliefs com from. I only have to look around me to the other Classy Brassy Broads in my world to find the answers.

My daughter, Leolady2 is a classy broad. As a young girl with a visual impairment she refused, with parental support, to accept the school counselors who decided that her future was a daycare provider. While that is a noble profession it was not in her plan for life. She chose to go to college no matter what a tough course that might be and consequently this year she will graduate from the University of (Go Huskies) as well as a minor in Non-Profit Management and a second minor in Education. She comes from a long line of women who are not afraid to speak out even when hers is not the popular opinion.

My cousins Mawtulsa, PJ and EK are classy broads each of these beautiful women lost the love of their lives in the last couple of years to sudden and unexpected deaths. Yet each of them has shown grace in the tragedy of life ad carried on with a bravery only seen in women of substance. Mawtulsa was first to experience loss and held her sisters hand through her grief with humor and love. PJ flew to Jordan to spend her husband’s final days in the land of his birth sharing that time with his brothers and then as a great gift of love buried him next to his family members and returned to the USA alone bravely knowing that her family would be there for her. EK has been the quiet, private one. She was a rock to my twins when my Mom passed away, sharing with them how life renews itself. Her Dad had passed away a few years earlier and she was the one to explain it to her brother who has Autism. EK is a teacher and wonderful with young people. I am not sure if I ever thanked her enough but I do now. EK you have such class.

My sister, Yarntangler has brassy class. She abandoned conventional life to live her dream life travelling the countryside in her rolling mansion. She is like a pioneer braving the weather and bumps in the road like a roof coming off in the wind or even worse a spouse who forgot to lower the TV antenna and wiping it off of the roof. She lost LOST! She speaks eloquently about her new life especially in a most animated discussion with her Classy Brassy Broad of a sister.

My sister-in-law BH is one of my favorite classy broads. She successfully raised two kids as a single mom, working harder than anyone I know, and then took a leap of faith and married and has loved my brother for over twenty years. I believe she saved his life in many ways. She takes no #@#@ from anyone any never feels that the world owes her or that she couldn’t survive anything. She is strong and has a never ending supply of colloquialisms that always hit the mark. She is truly a person that I wish I had found forty years ago to be my friend.

That brings me to my friends. WOW are some of you are classy and some of you are brassy but all of you are my heros.

MJ - you are one of the first women in my life who tell it like it is you always called me on my stuff when I might get full of it and I did the same for you. I remember sharing so much but none more than you leaving Massachusetts to fly to Washington to care for my two little children while I spent weeks in the hospital awaiting the birth of our twin sons. You helped name them and you loved my kids like your own. You protected my daughter when she needed a friend alone on a trip to her Grandmother’s house. It saddens me to think that we have let the busyness of our lives keep us from keeping in touch more.

LN – you believed in my love for Sticks when others did not and you weren’t afraid to tell people to let us be happy. You taught me about Filene's basement. You are so smart and so caring and one of the world’s great Special Ed teachers. You are so much more: you speak out about the injustices in the country and about issues which you feel passionately about. While there are many things we disagree about we still discuss them with gusto never jeopardizing our friendship. You truly live, love and feel as a classy brassy broad.

Joy – no matter how long we are apart when we see each other it is as if time has stopped for months or years and we still live in the same neighborhood even though we have been states or countries apart. As twenty somethings we helped raise one another’s kids. As young Army Wives we saw one another through deployments sitting at our children’s hospital bedsides together or babysitting the night before hubby left or came home again. When you learned that I was starting dialysis you and Em drove up form Oregon surprising the hell out of me and took me to dinner in a great gesture of support. It meant the world to me and my family. You interrupted your life when the boys and I got stuck in Oregon in the great storm of Nov 07. What a blast we had with your Grand daughters. You went back to college following your dreams and did it I am so very proud of you!

NB – you were first my boss and then my very dear friend. The tricks that you taught this broad are for the ages. Most of what I have learned from you definitely fits the brassy category, live life to the fullest, make no apologies for being yourself, love well and laugh well, be confident and exude excellence. Take time to think of yourself as a Classy Broad NB, for truly you are.

All of these women have been influences in my becoming a Classy Brassy Broad but none more than the one original Classy Brassy Broad, LILBIT. My mom instilled in me permission to be who I wanted to be, to know that it is okay to speak up in this world. She knew that women shouldn’t be the little woman without opinions or beliefs but should take time to read and learn and teach. She told me to be strong in adversity and she knew what she meant. She put her children before her grief more than once to be certain that we knew it was okay to feel whatever we needed to feel. She fought for us but kept it real. Once when a teacher I had in high school called to say that I had been disrespectful my mom called her on her dishonesty and yet at the same time let me know that I needed to apologize for hurting my teacher's feelings . She told me something that I have tried to let my own children know: “It is hard enough to apologize when you are wrong but when you know in your heart that you are right it is much harder and yet much more noble”.

Thanks Mom you are my most important Classy Brassy Broad. I only hope that I can do you proud.

Dialyze This

Dialyze This

Imagine being a health professional who on a weekly or monthly basis must deliver a worrisome diagnosis. Scary words like cancer or heart disease, Alzheimer’s or End Stage Renal Disease. There are a myriad of others just as frightening to patients. All are delivered somberly and most often with the wish that he or she was not the chosen physician.

I heard the words End Stage Renal Disease myself not so long ago. It was not the biggest surprise since for several years the diagnosis was Chronic Kidney Disease. This is a byproduct of Diabetes a disease I have owned since my early twenties (I am in my mid fifties now).

For years I have thought sadly for folks with such diagnoses. Such words were death sentences then and are still thought of that way today. I understood the somber delivery.

I was so wrong! Such words should not be delivered with sadness anymore.

I wish my own doctor had said something like the following:

“I am pleased to tell you that your kidney disease has progressed to the stage that we have a solid treatment to affect it. You will need to go on Dialysis but it is highly likely that you will begin to feel much better. You will need to do your part by being an active participant in your treatment. Think of it, not so long ago End Stage Renal Disease meant just that the End but now we can help you to live your best life and you may even have the option of transplantation”.

Trust me when I say that being tethered to a chair for up to twelve hours a week may not seem like the most fun you have ever had but consider the alternative.

When one of my most favorite people, Skooba, got married in May; I was thrilled for him and his beautiful bride. I actually missed the ceremony because I had felt so ill in the morning of the wedding that we left late and ended up encountering traffic. Once we arrived I was so exhausted that it was difficult to actively engage. My nephew, Sage Words, asked me to dance (what a charmer that one) and I gave it my all and then had no energy to dance with my own sons.

That was May 11th; on June16th, Lone duck’s birthday, I began dialysis. Two weeks later I realized how sick I had been because I began to feel better.

Seven months later and I feel as though I have 95% of my life back. It may seem silly to get excited about grocery shopping but it wasn’t so long ago that I couldn’t walk through the store. Now I can and I can complete other errands a well.

When my sister Yarntangler and her husband Geezerguy came to visit I had to force myself to cook for them; it was incredibly exhausting but I managed. Today I can actually enjoy the process of cooking a meal and not become grouchy or need a nap when I’m done.

There are additional benefits to Dialysis or Chemo that sometimes are overlooked. A patient is forced to take time for oneself. Most people never devote 12 hours a week to solitary involvement. Treatment gives you the time to read or think or watch a movie or play a game on your computer. Who knows one might even write a blog entry.

I have made new friends and had wonderful dialogs with folks I never would have expected.

My family still worries and I still need a kidney (type A or O blood please) but my message is a simple one.

If you are a physician feel blessed that you can give hope and if you are the patient feel joy that treatment is available to you.

Take the time during treatment to think of the researchers who made it possible for you to live a longer healthier life.

If you are a family member try to worry a little less but be supportive; days are not all great as treatment can be rough.

I am grateful for my family’s support every day. I love how much they love me.

Thanks Dr Perkins for telling me that it was time for Dialysis. I just want to say that the next time you tell someone it is time it really is okay to do it with a smile. You will be changing a life for the better.

Until next time,
Classy Brassy Broad